Panem et Circenses
by tay9
Summary: The Dark Days have just ended and the very first Hunger Games are just around the corner. How will the people of the districts handle watching their own children killing each other?
1. Chapter 1: Karen

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins or the movies.

**Author's Note: ** **Hello there! This is my first attempt at a Hunger Games fanfiction. Thanks to my wonderful best friends Claire, who reads the rough outlines, and Katelyn, who is my grammar freak. This wouldn't be up here without them! I try to update frequently. Please review! "You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope." -Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games**

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Karen**_

I'm skipping through a meadow with my best friend, Logan. The flowers are brilliant shade of pink and purple, and there isn't a cloud in the light blue sky. The sunshine pours onto our skin and I collapse in the flowers, laughing because I am so happy. So incredibly happy. Not a care in the world.

"Karen," Logan says. "Karen, wake up."

My eyes flutter open as I realize it was real life Logan telling me to wake up, and I was dreaming. I groan because I long for the days where I can just be happy and skip through meadows (maybe not literally, although it seems nice). I start to come to my senses and realize rain is dripping on me. Stupid roof. "What?" I ask, a bit annoyed. I want to stay in that dream meadow forever.

"President Brooke is making an announcement tonight. We have to be in the square to watch," he tells me. I groan because the rebellion of the thirteen districts came to a close, no more than six months ago, and whatever Brooke has to say won't be good. "Come on." He reaches his hand out to me and I use it to slowly pull myself up. Ever since my mother died from of the Capitol bombs, I feel like everything I do is in slow motion.

I know I have to make myself semi-presentable, but the task seems impossible. So, I just stand there and stare at Logan. I notice his pale gray eyes, dark hair, and how he seems to have a grown a foot in the past few months, despite having almost no food. I look at how muscular he is, even though you'd think his body would start eating his muscle by now. Logan grabs my hand, but I don't react. I don't flinch or pull away, but I don't grab him either. Logan holding my hand has been a common occurrence since my mother died. I feel like I need him to do everything for me. "Come on," he says softly, and tugs at my hand, so I walk over to the vanity with him and sit down.

He takes my dark, red hair out of its ponytail and sets the holder on the desk. I look in the mirror; my green eyes are very unusual for someone in the Seam, let alone district 12, and my hair is a tangled mess. This kind of red hair is only found in the Capitol and districts two and five. Fitting, I guess. My great grandmother came here from the Capitol as a Peacekeeper. Logan brushes out my hair, and each brush stroke causes intense pain at my roots. After he manages to get most of the knots out, he tries to put it back into the ponytail, but the top of my hair sticks out at odd angles.

"Let me do it," I tell him. I sweep my hair to the side and put it in a braid that reaches to the middle of my stomach. There's already a gray dress laid out for me. It was my mother's from when she was my age, and it's the only decent clothing I have. I don't really care if Logan sees me naked, so I change in front of him without thinking twice. From the water dripping from the roof, I realize it's raining. I pull on my gray sweatshirt, the only thing I have with a hood.

"Are you going to go down with your dad and Gracie?" he asks me.

Gracie is my baby sister. She's only nine months old. My mother died six months ago. I hate looking at her. I hate seeing how she's not growing and doesn't have enough food. How my father is struggling to keep her alive and care for her and I can't even help because I can barely manage myself. How she reminds me so much of my mother. How I rely on Logan to help my father, Gracie, and mostly, me. I hate looking at her, she's the reminder that I'm so helpless. "I'll go with you," I decide.

He nods. "You look nice." I know he's lying. I completely ignore my father and Gracie as I walk out the door. We walk down to the main square. It's already starting to fill. I know most of the people, since district 12 is so small, so I return the "hello's" I get, but don't stop for actual conversation. The Justice Building has a big screen on it, since most people can't afford a television. Even if they could, there isn't always electricity to watch it. It starts to rain a bit harder, so I pull up my hood. Logan and I stand near a group of kids our age, and wait for the program to start.

The Panem symbol and anthem plays, and then President Brooke appears on the screen. She looks older since the Dark Days. The war did that to a lot of people. You can see some of her gray roots, which stick out compared to her shiny black hair. Her ice blue eyes seem to be staring right at me. "Hello citizens of Panem," she begins. "To remind the districts that the Capitol has complete control over them, today and centuries from now, each district will give two tributes between the ages of twelve and eighteen, one boy and one girl, to participate in the Hunger Games. Tributes will be reaped lottery-style and will participate in a fight to the death. The prize is your life. Reapings will take place six months from today, the one year anniversary of the official end of the rebellion. More details will be given later. The Hunger Games will be aired live for all of Panem to see. Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be _ever_ in your favor." Smile. Capitol seal. Anthem. Black.

No one really knows what to make of this. I picture twenty four people closed in a room killing each other, but I know it will be more than that. That wouldn't provide nearly enough torture for the tributes and the district citizens. It wouldn't be interesting enough for Brooke, who will probably be sitting behind her big desk, eating her rich Capitol food, enjoying us kill each other.

"Let's go," Logan says, and we follow the crowd out of the square. We walk silently back to my house and back to the bedroom. It's cold and dark, but it's better than staying out in the rain. "So, Hunger Games…" he says, as he sits down on my mattress.

"Yeah," I respond as I sit down next to him. I don't know what else to say. He puts him arm around me and I rest my head on his chest. We never used to be like this. We used to spend days walking around the square and talking nonstop, but then there was the rebellion. My mom died, his dad died, and the Hob was bombed, and it wasn't safe to go outside. Now we don't know what to do with ourselves.

"Kare," my dad says from the doorway. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I nod and get up. We walk over to the kitchen table where Gracie is sleeping, wrapped in a blanket. "I know I told you to stop stealing," he begins. I already know what's coming. I began to steal a few months before the Dark Days, but then my parents made me quit. I got pretty good at it, too. Logan always refused to help me but I always got him and his family food, too. My father confirms my guess. "Gracie won't make it and we're all starving. Get food as soon as you can," he adds. I nod and turn to leave. I'm glad that he's actually letting me steal again; it will give me something to do.

I go and tell Logan the news. He agrees to help me as long as I promise we're careful. I grab my hair pin and a plastic card that I use to pick locks, and Logan grabs a plastic bag from the corner of the room. "What's the plan?" he asks.

I take the bag from him and start walking outside before answering. "Bakery then livestock," I decide. I've only had real bakery bread a few times in my life, and that was a special treat. We walk to the bakery but stop at the side of the building. "Distract Poppy," I tell him. Poppy is the baker's daughter, a few years older than us, and always works at night. "I'll go through the side and get the bread. "

"Got it," he responds.

"See you soon." I wait until he's in the bakery and talking to Poppy before I slip around back. I have to wait for a few Peacekeepers to pass before walking over to the side entrance. Logan has Poppy turned with her back completely too me, and she's leaning over the counter. Flirting, no doubt. I try the door just to see if by chance, it's unlocked, but it isn't, so I jiggle it open with the hair pin and plastic card.

The smell of fresh bread immediately fills my nostrils and makes my stomach rumble. It's not fair that she lives here and I haven't had a proper meal in weeks. I check up the stairs, which are to the immediate left of the door and see that the coast is clear. Logan has Poppy's attention, so I crawl behind the counter. I know I need to be fast so I don't get caught, but I can't help but admiring all the bread and pastries. It looks like they have the most loaves of bread with all different kinds of seeds on top, and some pastries, shaped like hearts with white frosting. I take a loaf of bread and a few hearts, and bolt out of the store as quickly as possible.

Logan seems to be doing such a good job distracting Poppy, that he doesn't even notice me. I walk around, through the front entrance, and stand next to Logan. "Hey Poppy," I greet as nicely as possible, and swing the bag over my shoulder.

"Hello, Karen," Poppy says back. She has a very kind, genuine, smile.

Poppy pushes herself off the counter when he puts his arm around me (we can't see down her shirt anymore) and raises an eyebrow. "Are you guys a couple?" she asks. You can tell she's trying to be nice about asking, but we all know she's asking because she likes Logan.

"No," I respond automatically. People always wonder about us, but the answer is always no. No, because I don't know if he likes me or if I like him, and no because love makes things complicated and I'd rather not deal with it. Not that is has ever been something we've discussed. "We should probably be getting back before it rains harder," I say as I look out the window. It actually looks like it's going to clear soon, but I'm starving and want to leave. Logan agrees.

"See you later," Poppy says as we head out the door.

Logan and I walk down the street and stop to rest across from the little farm that has a pen of chickens and pigs out front. Logan takes the bag and peaks inside. "Now what?" He hands the bag back to me.

"Go inside and talk to the farmer. I'm gonna get some eggs." I know this will be harder since the chickens might make noise, but I really want these eggs.

"See ya," he says and heads off.

I wait until Logan is inside and walk over to the chicken pen. There's a wooden coop in the corner where the eggs are. I hop over the short mesh fence and dash across to the coop. A few chickens walk toward me and make a little noise but I ignore them and peer into the coop. There are lots of eggs, surely they wouldn't notice if I took a few. I reach and grab three when the first chicken makes a loud clucking noise. I drop the eggs in my bag and turn around. The chickens are picking at the ground, and they don't seem to be paying attention to me. I take another few eggs, when the chickens start to go mad. I know the farmer will be out any second, and surely some Peacekeepers will come to investigate, so I take a running jump over the mesh and sprint to the road, that splits into an intersection. My house is six down on the right, Logan's six on the left. This has always been our meeting spot.

Soon enough, Logan is there, out of breath. "Got the eggs?" he asks. I nod.

"Go get your family and come over," I tell him. We part ways and I walk to my house where my father starts to cook the eggs as soon as I come in the door.

That night is somewhat like a celebration. Even though we just received the news that the Capitol plans on having children kill each other, we have food and that makes it a celebration. Logan and I eat in the bedroom, while everyone else eats in the kitchen. Logan's mother is telling stories of what it was like in district two; that's where she grew up (she has the same red hair as me, too) but when her husband became a Peacekeeper they moved here. Now, her husband is dead (or presumed dead, they never found his body) and the Capitol won't let them move back because of the rebellion. District 12 rebelled by district two didn't. I'm glad though. If they moved, I'd never see Logan again.

We finish our food and flop down on my mattress. The rain stops, so the roof isn't leaking anymore, but the air still feels damp. Logan lies down next to me and rubs my back. "How are you feeling?" he asks me. It's those quiet, relaxing nights that he asks that.

"No better, no worse than usual," I answer. This basically includes feeling tired and a bit sad, and having my back and head hurt. He kisses me on the head and continues to rub my back until I fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Love and the Apothecary

Disclaimer: All rights to Suzanne Collins

**Author's Note: Yay for fast updates! I've had this chapter file open for a week and a half and was determined to finish it yesterday, so I stayed up until midnight writing. Many thanks to my best friend Katelyn who got the chapter at 10:00 in the morning and had it edited and ready to go by eleven. Please review! ""You love me, real or not real?" I tell him, "Real."" -Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay **

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Love and the Apothecary**_

The past few months have become considerably hot. I'm lying stretched out under the kitchen table in my underclothes. I like to sleep in my underclothes during the summer, but not with my father a few feet away. I like the cold floor anyway.

I hear the door open and look up. It's Logan. "Hey," I say, wiggling out from under the table and pull a tee shirt on. It's one he left here once actually, so it goes down to my mid thighs.

"Nice shirt," he jokes. I smile. "How's Gracie?" I tell him my father is convinced she'll be okay, but I'm not. With the Hunger Games just a few months away, the Capitol is sending more and more Peacekeepers so it's been harder to steal without being noticed. We made plans to try today, though.

We have learned all the details of the Hunger Games, and it's a bit nerve racking. I'm scared Logan or I will be reaped, or someone I know. Mostly I'm scared for Logan and myself, but with every teenager in the district having their name put in, chances are we won't be picked.

"You might want to change before we go out," he tells me. I agree. I pull on my gray cloth shorts and blue shirt, brush my hair, and come back to Logan. We aren't stealing now in broad daylight, but we're going to spend the time walking around like old times.

We reach the square and start looking through the shop windows as we walk slowly. "Remember when we were out here from morning to almost the next day?" he asks. I do, of course. That was one of the best days I remember; before all this crap with the rebellion.

"My mom was alive," I say automatically. I don't know what makes me do it, but sometimes those things just come out. A happy memory from before only giving me one distinct thought: my mom was alive then.

Logan wraps his arms around me. "I know," he whispers as he strokes my hair. "I know." A tear falls down my cheek but I don't move to wipe it. He pulls me away to wipe the tear with his thumb and brush the hair out of my eyes. His arms are still around my waist and he bends down and kisses me slowly, softly on the lips. I find myself standing on my toes.

Logan has kissed me before. Those kisses on the forehead when I'm really sad, or when he's really happy, but this isn't one of those kisses. This is a soft, thoughtful kiss on the lips, and we both know it means more than a usual comforting one. I wish I could say I don't know how I feel about this, but I do, and I've known for a long time. We really do love each other; more than brother and sister love. We've just never acted upon it, and now we have.

"Sorry," he says, and I realize I've been standing there for a whole minute without saying anything. "I've probably screwed everything up."  
I wrap my arms around his neck and give him another kiss to let him know I don't think he has. This was going to happen eventually, I was sure of it.

"So," he says.

"So…"

"What do you want to do?" he finally asks. It takes me a minute to make up my mind, but I know exactly where I want to take him. I've only been there once before, and it is technically illegal, but it's such a beautiful place.

"Follow me," I say and take his hand. We walk back through the Seam and to the electric fence that blocks off the woods. Most of the time, we don't have electricity, so the fence isn't dangerous. I lead him through the fence and we walk for a while. The woods come to a clearing with only a few small trees that offer enough shade for one or two people. The only other time I have been here was when my mother showed me this place; she used to come here as a kid.

We lay down under the tree. Logan lies straight on his back, and I curl up next to him. Logan has most of the shade, and my skin is hot in the sun, but I don't care. We lay for a while, just looking at each other. Logan brushes his fingers up and down my arm. His touch is so soft; it feels almost like a spider walking on me. He moves my hair and begins to pepper my neck with short, soft kisses. He looks into my eyes. "I love you."

I stare back at him but don't say anything. It's a little soon for "I love you's." We kissed for the first time no more than forty five minutes ago. Love is a strong word. I don't like it. "I don't really-"

"Nah, I get it."

He doesn't seem upset, and he keeps kissing my neck, so I don't think he really cares. I feel bad though, not being able to say it back. I prop myself up on my elbows and give him a long kiss. I'm about to pull away but he doesn't let me. He spins us around so now he's on top of me. He kisses me again on the lips, and this is my longest one. It leaves the taste of mint on my lips, probably from mint leaves he had earlier. He goes back to kissing my neck.

It's getting dark now and Logan and I are lying next to each other under the tree. He's rubbing my back like he usually does. "My head hurts," I tell him.

He sits up. "Let's go to the apothecary and get some medicine," he suggests. I slowly get up too. We walk back to the fence and I throw a rock at it to see if it makes noise when it hits. It doesn't. We climb through and make our way over to the apothecary. I'd never be able to afford the medicine here, so my only chance of getting anything is stealing, but that's tricky.

The apothecary is closed and all the lights are off in the upstairs apartment. I manage to open the door with my hair pin. "Just wait here," I tell him. If I get caught there's no use in both of us being punished.

Logan nods. "Be careful, alright?"

"I will," I promise him. I walk inside as quietly as I can and close the door behind me. There's a section of the counter that lifts up so you can enter the back room with all the supplies. I crawl under it just in case the counter squeaks. I glance up the stairs that lead to the apartment. It doesn't look like anyone is up there, so I continue on to the back room.

Shelves line the walls and are filled with jar upon jar of herbs, liquids, and all sorts of medicines I have never seen before. There's an almost full supply of clear liquid sitting on a counter and I'm pretty sure I saw someone take some as a painkiller the other day. I sneak over and have my hand around a vial when I hear a crash and yelling.

"Hands up!" I know that voice. It's the unmistakable voice of the Head Peacekeeper, Jonas. I release my hand from the vial and slowly turn around. I hope I won't be punished too severely. Maybe the shop owner could excuse me and I'd be let off with a warning, but the two Peacekeepers Jonas came with have strong grips on my arms before I can even move a muscle.

I know the punishment for stealing is being whipped or even death. I hope for the former. I try to worm my out of the Peacekeepers' grips, but it's no use. My small arms are an easy grip for the two men's big hands. They lift me up to carry me through the door, so I start kicking them in the stomachs, but their protective gear only ends up hurting my feet. I hope Logan had the sense to run, I think as I realize there's no way out of this. They carry me to the main square where there is already a wooden structure used as a whipping post. I'm thankful that Logan is nowhere in sight, and is probably safe back at home. The Peacekeepers tie my wrists to the wood so I can't escape. My back is facing Jonas, and I already see people coming to watch.

"Hmm… how many whippings should the little girl get?" He's talking to himself, but loud enough so I can hear. I honestly believe he enjoys torturing people. "Thirty would probably be equal to a death sentence…" Please not thirty, please not thirty. "And you didn't actually steal anything yet, so I'll be nice. Fifteen." I was hoping for one or two, but I know that would be practically impossible. "1, 2…"

_Crack._ The leather comes in contact with my shirt and leaves a searing pain across my back. I hold a scream and remind myself to take deep breaths. _Crack._ This one hits at a different angle and crosses the other in the middle of the back, giving me the most pain there. _Crack._ Tears start rolling fast down my cheeks as the pain intensifies. I feel like my back is on fire, and I'm not even half way done yet. _Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack._ A disgusting amount of sweat is pouring down my face and I feel the skin on my back broken and bleeding. _Crack. Crack. Crack. _I let out a loud scream as the whip seems to hit perfectly on an already open wound. My knees are wobbly and I don't think I'll be able to hold myself up much longer, but I know if I don't I'll be hanging by my wrists. And that will be the most painful. _Crack. Crack. _I vomit. _Crack. Crack. _One more, I tell myself; only one more. _Crack._ I let out a scream that only intensifies my headache. The pounding has become so loud I feel like a bomb ready to explode.

I feel the rope being released from my wrists, but my knees give out and I fall on the stone street. I feel like my back is literally on fire and I need ice cold water to put it out. Someone picks me up, Logan probably, but even the slight touch of his arms on my back makes another scream jump out of my throat. There is no other way to be carried without touching my back, so he runs to his house as fast as possible.

I'm set down on the kitchen table where Logan's mother peels off my shirt, which is now stained red, and dumps a bucket of water on my back. Even the slight pressure of the water makes it sting and I fight back another scream. Tears roll down my cheeks as I sob silently, my voice hoarse from all the screaming earlier. Rags are being places on my back when I slip into unconsciousness.


	3. Chapter 3: The Reaping

**Author's Note: I'm not a big fan of this chapter, but here it is. I edited it myself instead of having someone else do it, but for some reason I don't think the edits in the first half of the chapter saved, so sorry for the mistakes. This is considerably shorter than the other chapters, so sorry again, but I have chapters four and five written already, and I think those are better because we're getting to the good stuff (: Please review!**

_**Chapter 3**_

_**The Reaping**_

I wake up in Logan's arms to his little sister, Dorcas, jumping on the mattress. "Wake up! Wake up!" I groan as my eyes adjust to the light and pull the thin sheet higher up to my chin. I feel Logan roll over and sit up.

"How was your sleepover at grandma's?" he asks her. Dorcas and Logan's mother, Mary, had a girls' night last night and slept at her grandmother's house.

"Good," she answers. "Mommy says you have to get ready to go soon," she tells us before exiting the room.

I pull on the shirt in a crumpled heap on the floor by the mattress and roll off slowly. Reapings take place today and everyone is dreading them. Except Dorcas apparently, who seems like she's actually excited. She's too young to understand, though. Mary lent me one of her dresses for the reaping. It's white and ties around the waist. I think it's very pretty. I can imagine Mary wearing it when she was my age. "Turn around," I order Logan, so I can change.

"But I-"

"Turn around." He does, reluctantly, and I change into the dress. "I'm done," I tell him so I can change. I brush out my hair and pull it back into a ponytail.

When Logan and I arrive in the kitchen, Logan's older brothers, Michael and

Fredrick, are sitting at the table. "You two get a good night's sleep?" Fredrick asks. "Or was it a rough night?"

I reach across the table and smack him. Mary sets a bowl of broth down in front of me and I eat it quickly. After, we head down to the main square for the Reaping. There is a table full of sign in books with Peacekeepers who prick our fingers to take blood for the sign in. Logan and I go stand with the other fifteen year olds, Fredrick with the seventeen year olds, Michael with the eighteen year olds, and Mary and Dorcas with the adults and young children. I spot my father and Gracie standing next to them. "Good morning, everyone," Mayor Cresden greets us. His normal cheeriness is gone. I feel like I'm going to throw up what little food I had this morning. Mayor Cresden starts talking about the Dark Days and even shows video footage of the Capitol attacks. It's extremely difficult to watch, and I can tell others find it upsetting too. "And now I'd like to welcome Quinia House, the district 12 escort."

Mayor Cresden leaves the podium and Quinia House steps us. I immediately hate her. She's obviously from the Capitol. She has bright green hair and a neon color dress; it's the most disgusting thing I have ever seen, but it's typical Capitol fashion. "Hello, everyone!" Her voice is so annoyingly high pitched I want to rip my hair out. "I guess we'll get right to it!" She walks over to the two glass orbs on the stage. One for the boys, one for the girls, each one filled with names. Five of them say Karen McGrady on them. Five of them say Logan Hearth. Logan finds my hand and gives it a gently squeeze. "Ladies first!" She digs her hand and picks out a piece of pulls it out of the orb so slowly I swear she's doing it just to torture us. "Karen McGrady!" At first I don't even register that I actually have to go but then I notice everyone staring at me. My first instinct is to run and hide. Run to the woods and to the place where my mother used to come as a child and live where the Peacekeepers and the Capitol can't get to me. But the Peacekeepers are approaching so Logan kisses my lips and lets go of my hand, and I absolutely hate him for it. I can't help but thinking he's leading me away to slaughter. But the Peacekeepers are doing that, really. I walk shakily up the stairs, gripping the railing so tightly on the railing I think it might break, and stand where Quinia tells me to.

She shakes my hand and goes to the boys' orb. I pray it isn't Logan, Michael or Fredrick. But I can't pay attention to what Quinia is saying because everything just seems like a blur. Before I know it I'm shaking hands with a trembling boy. I don't look at his face but I can tell it isn't Logan, Fredrick, or Michael. "Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!" Quinia lets out a high pitched giggle and takes us to the Justice Building.

"Try and keep her alive, okay?" I choke out to my father between my uneven breathing.

"Try and win," he tells me. Try and win. It almost sounds like a joke. Twenty four of us locked in an area to kill each other. One comes out. The odds are absolutely not in my favor. I nod my head anyway. My father hugs me and I give me a kiss, and I kiss Gracie. Peacekeepers usher them out and Logan walks in.

I immediately pull him in for a hug and sob into his chest. "Stop," he tells me and pulls me away. "You can win this, you have to. You have to try." I wipe my tears and sniffle a bit. How am I supposed to win when there are people from the other districts who have had food to eat and have some level of knowledge for using weapons? That's right, I'm not.

The Peacekeepers come back to take Logan. "I love you!" he shouts as they pull him out the door, and I hate him for it. I hate that I'll never get to chance to say it back to him, and now his last words to me are "I love you." So when I die he'll never let go. I'm escorted to the train when I actually look at my fellow tribute for the first time. He has shaggy brown hair and blue eyes that are so light they're almost white. I feel like I know him, but I can't place it. Probably just from school or around the district. But I can't help the nagging feeling that he's familiar. He hasn't said anything to me, so we probably don't know each other.

The train is absolutely marvelous, but I hate it because it screams Capitol.

Food lines the compartment and there's a big television set up. A big, fancy table is anchored down for us to eat at. I've never seen this much food in my life and it makes my stomach grumble. I still hate it, though. "Sit down, sit down! It's time for lunch," Quinia's voice rings out. We both do as we're told and sit down across from each other, with Quinia at the head. I take a bowl full of purple chowder (I'm not sure what it is but it smells good) and some apple slices. I gobble down my food as fast as possible while the boy across from me takes his time. I can tell he's not from the Seam. I take another helping of chowder and some oranges before Quinia decided to start a conversations. "Enjoying the food, Karen?" I nod and finish my plate. I look at the desserts and choose a white cake, and a square of something that looks like cake and tastes very chocolaty. I force both of those down even though my stomach feels like it's going to burst. "The brownies are my favorite," she giggles. That must be what the chocolaty cake is.

"They're very good," I agree.

She directs her attention to the boy now. "Are you enjoying the food, Oliver?" she asks. He nods and continues eating, but I catch him sneaking a glance at me. We know each other. We must. "The other Reapings are on television," she tells us. I look over to see it turned on but muted. "You've already missed eleven, ten, and nine, but you can watch the other ones." Some servants come and take our dishes and I go sit on the couch to watch. My stomach is killing me so I slouch back as Quinia turns up the volume and sits next to Oliver, who is next to me.

They announce the girl tribute from eight, Wendy, and they are about to announce the boy when I lean over and vomit into the wastebasket. Small stomach, I guess. I head into the compartment Quinia said is for me to sleep in, and it makes me hate the Capitol even more. Just the luxury of everything- the clothes, beds, different soaps and shampoos and scrubs- and I can't even get a decent bath a home. I rinse out my mouth and brush my teeth. I'm back to watch the rest of the Reapings by the time they are on district seven.

I take note of the girl, Rose, who has strong arms. She's probably good with an axe. The tributes from six, Noah and Nova, don't look like they would do good outdoors. It's the tributes from four that really get my attention. The boy, named Finn Terra, seems to be about seventeen or eighteen, good looking, and muscley. The girl, Daisy Spar, is extremely pretty and looks like she would be smart. I'd want those two for allies.

I'm distracted when the workers on the train bring out more food and Quinia says it's time for dinner. I feel like I just ate minutes ago, but a look at the clock tells me it's been several hours. I eat generously, but not as much as last time. Quinia tells us it's going to be a long day tomorrow so we get to bed right after dinner.


	4. Chapter 4: The Capitol

**Author's Note: I really meant to update this like... five days ago, but life got in the way and then finals started. Good news is I finish school in five days (Wednesday, it currenly being a Friday night) which means the updates will probably be faster! Thanks to Stephanne21 who faithfully reviews every chapter days after I post it, and who also raised a good question which I have answered privately and meant to put in the Author's Note in like... chapter 1 but forgot about it so here we go. Question: How will they get mentors? Answer: They won't. Mentors are victors and there are no victors because it is the first Hunger Games so I have decided that there will be no mentors. The escorts and stylists will basically cover all that stuff (strategy, sponsers etc.) More good news is that chapter six means we actually start the Games. Bad news is that I have finally gotten through every plot hole I ever had in my head and you're probably going to hate me, and I'm not sure how good the editing is in this chapter because I edited like two weeks ago and haven't looked at it since so if there are any problems let me know! Please review and enjoy!**

_**Chapter 4**_

_**The Capitol**_

If there's one thing I really hate, besides the whole idea of being forced to fight to the death, it's my prep team. They're even worse than Quinia when it comes to Capitol fashion. They have their skin dyed, engraved, and tattooed, one has whiskers, and they don't even look human. It's the most appalling thing I have ever seen. And they treat me like a rag doll. They pull and stretch and scrub and wax my skin so violently I feel like once I stand up, it will all fall off of me. They liquids they use smell terrible and sting my nose and my skin. The whole thing is just absolutely terrible.

It's a bit easier when they are done "cleaning" me, and move onto make up. I actually like it a bit. I still hate the prep team, but I do like the makeup.

They use black eye shadow that gets lighter and lighter up to my eyebrows. My eyes are lined in black eyeliner that goes out in wings back toward my temple. They glue rhinestones up the wings, and assure me the rhinestones aren't permanent when I nervously ask. The fake eyelashes they stick on me (also not permanent) shimmer when the light hits them just right. My lips are coated in bright red that tastes like cherries and they apply makeup to my cheeks so my cheekbones are more defined, even though I think they're already well enough defined. The prep team leaves the room and I pull on a robe while I wait for my stylist to come in.

The woman introduces herself as Bloom. I don't hate her as much just by looking at her; she does the whole Capitol thing in more fashionable way, in my opinion. It looks like she has naturally blond hair, but the tips are dyed dark blue and the shades get lighter as they progress from the small of her back to her roots, where there isn't any trace of blue dye. She wears a blue and silver jumpsuit. It's tight, but it works on her petite frame. "I guess we'll get right to it," she says and walks to the back of the room where my costume for the opening interviews hangs on a hook. She hands it to me, "Put this on, and open the door to let me know you're done." I'm glad she isn't going to stay here when I change.

I put on the costume and look in the mirror. It's a bit strange, or not what I

was expecting, at least. The tributes are supposed to be dressed to represent their districts, Quinia told me. I wasn't sure how you dress like coal, but this isn't what I thought. There's black spandex shorts with a waist that makes a V on the sides to go up to my natural waist but down in the front and back just below my belly button. The bottoms do an upside V where on the sides they go up a few centimeters below my hips. They are skin tight and have rhinestones on the edges. The top is a black, lacy bra that makes me feel very exposed. I think the outfit makes me too skinny, you can easily count my ribs, but I don't have a say in the matter so I open the door to let Bloom in.

"Does it fit?" she asks and she walks in a circle around me.

If by fit she means too tight and revealing, then yes. "Yeah," I answer.

"All the other tributes are going for a certain angle at their interviews; funny, smart, serious. Yours is going to be sexy, and I thought this would help." She walks to the back of the room and brings back a small bucket with her, but all I can think is "How am I supposed to be sexy?" Back in district 12 boys don't drool over me like they do some other girls. I mean, sure, there's a few who have gotten a bit flustered, but I'm not insanely gorgeous. "I just want to add one last thing," she tells me. Bloom takes the lid off the bucket and pulls out a small container of this jelly stuff that she smears thinly on my stomach before putting a thin, black coat of black powder on it. Coal dust, I think.

Bloom rubs a thick cream in my hair and when she combs it out my hair is a brighter red. Each section forms long, perfect ringlets when she's done styling it. The girl staring back at me isn't Karen McGrady, the girl from district 12 who's starving. This girl looks like a whore.

"You look lovely," Bloom says as she steps back to look at her work. I just smile and nod.

When we're done, I go back to a room with Bloom and Quinia. They tell me I have to make the audience fall in love with me, especially the boys, so I get sponsors. They seemed to be convinced, at least by looks, that I could pull it off. I don't say anything because I know they don't care what I have to think. Quinia leaves to go talk to Oliver with his stylist, leaving Bloom and me by ourselves. We don't know what to say to each other. "I'm sorry," she finally says.

I look at her. "What?"

"I don't agree with any of this," she says, her voice almost a whisper. "I'm not here by choice, and if I could get you out, I would. But I can't. So I'm going to try and help you win over the crowd and maybe you'll win."

I'm not really sure what to say to this. I can tell she really means it, but I don't know how to react to this. "Thanks," I decide. We go back to silence.

We're in the training center now, getting ready for the opening ceremony. The plan is for us to go out in carts led by horses to the training center. This is the official start of the Hunger Games.

All the horses look different, depending on the district. Our horses are black, but district one has brilliant white horses and district four's are pretty sea foam green color. We seem to blend in with everything, except my hair. Oliver is wearing black pants and his middle section and arms are covered in the same black powder I'm in. Out of everyone, I think the girls from one and four stick out the most. The girl from one, Jewel, has a white leotard with sparkling stones in colors from clear to green. Daisy, from four, has a flowing blue dress designed to look like the ocean. Among the sea of colors, district 12 fades into the background.

Oliver and I don't talk much, but I keep catching him looking at me. "Do I know you?" I finally ask him.

He swallows and shakes his head. "No, I don't think so." Hmmf.

I'm distracted by Finn, the boy from four, who walks over to us. "Well aren't you a sexy thing?" he says to me. I Bloom was right; I do apparently have the looks. He strokes the horse in front of me with a tan, muscly arm. You can tell he's spent his whole life on a beach.

"Erm- thanks," I finally managed.

He turns to me with a surprised look on his face. "Wha- oh. I was talking about the horse," he smirks and I feel my face go red. "Kidding." I laugh, even though it was more cruel than funny. But I guess with all this, if you have an excuse to laugh, then why not? "I'm Finn. District four, as you've probably noticed from my shorts." He does this sort of twirl and I get a look at his costume for the first time. His shorts have the same design as Daisy's dress.

"Karen," I tell him. "Twelve."

"Nice to meet ya, Kare bear." Oh goodness, not Kare bear. People called me that when I was a baby. "How old are you, anyway?" he asks.

"Fifteen," I respond. After a minute, "What about you?"

"Seventeen."

We're told that it's almost time to go out, so Finn leaves to go back to his cart and Oliver and I get in our positions.

The crowd roars as our horses pull us through the candy streets of the Capitol. Bloom told us to smile and wave, so we do. "This is ridiculous," Oliver says through his tight smile.

"I know," I whisper back. The horses bring us around the Capitol and to the building they call the Training Center. Obviously, we will be training here until we're actually in the area.

Once we arrive, there is a feast set up for the tributes. Since twelve was the last to arrive, most of the other tributes have settled down with their food.

Jewel and the boy from district one, the boy from two, and Daisy, from four, are sitting together. Finn, and Pepper from two, are sitting together at another table. Being from the richest districts, they look the healthiest and they're plates have considerably less food on them compared to the tributes from poorer districts.

"Do you want to sit together?" Oliver asks. Most of the other tributes are sitting with their districts only.

"Sure," I answer after a moment. We get plates and pile them with food before going to the only other empty table. "Do I know you?" I finally ask, once we're both settled.

He shakes his head but doesn't look at me. "I don't think so. I've seen you in school before; you're a few years younger than me, though." I guess that's it. We continue to eat out food in silence when Finn and Pepper bump their table into ours.

"Pepper, this Kare Bear and..." Finn begins, but trails off not knowing Oliver's name.

"Oliver," he fills in.

"Right. Pepper, this is Kare Bear and Oliver. Kare Bear and Oliver, this is

Pepper," he stabs his fork in our directions as he says our names.

I roll my eyes, "It's Karen." I look down at my plate and realize there's nothing more I would like to be doing right now than eating. I pick up my fork and eat the mountain of mashed potatoes and a baked potato by the time Pepper and Finn have only just gotten through have their plates.

"Geez, you eat like you've never had a meal in your life," Pepper says. Her tone tells you she's joking and either she really doesn't know what district twelve is like or she is an extremely rude person. I look up and glare at her.

"Well, I haven't really," I respond. That shuts her up for the rest of the night.

After dinner we are taken to floor twelve of the training center, which is where we will be staying for the four days we get to train before the Games.

I really wish all of district 12 was here to see this. The luxury showers and the clothes and the candy colored skyline of the Capitol. I mean, I hate it, but I wish the people in district 12 could see it. I take my shower and scrub off the makeup. It all goes down the drain in a swirl of black and glitter.

As I get dressed again and climb into bed, I try to quiet my mind. This day seemed to go by in a matter of minutes and in four days I'm going to be locked in an area, forced to fight to the death. I wonder what the people in district twelve are thinking. I wonder if this is good enough for the Capitol. If they're happy so far or if they're just going to make things worse for everyone. I wonder how Logan is dealing with this. I know he's watching. I know him and I know his eyes will be glued to the screen in the main square every second. I can picture his mother making him come home and go to bed after the screen goes dark and the crowd goes home.

Eventually I decide I'm never going to go to sleep and just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.


	5. Chapter 5: The Night Before

**Author's Notes: Well, yay for fast updates. The next chapter is going to be the actual Games, and I'm almost done with it, so hopefully another update this week. Luckily nothing good is on TV to distract me. Please review! And let me know if there are any errors I need to fix. Thanks to everyone reading and favoriting and reviewing this, my Odesta oneshot, and me as an author! It is greatly appreciated. Enjoy!**

_**Chapter 5**_

_**The Night Before**_

I must have fallen asleep at some point because one of the workers comes and wakes me. She doesn't talk but motions for me to go and get to breakfast. There's a big window at the side of the room and I can see most of the candy colored Capitol going about their business while I'm stuck here. It's a luxurious prison, I think. Food and company and clothes and every luxury you could possibly want, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm trapped here and there are guards and my every move is being watched.

I change into a pair of cloth shorts, just like the ones I have at home, and a tank top and walk over to the dining area. Quinia, Bloom, Oliver, and Oliver's stylist are already eating. It didn't even occur to me that Quinia, Bloom, and Oliver's stylist stayed here last night. They're trapped in here just as much as I am. We eat our food in silence and then go down to training.

The three days of training go by extremely fast and uneventfully. I learn how to throw knives and tie knots and camouflage and tell poisonous plants from edible ones. I learn how to shoot an arrow and fire a gun and start a fire and climb. But when the time comes for the Gamemakers to give us training scores, I feel underprepared and I don't know what to show them. Would just standing there tying knots leave much of an impression? Probably not. After all, they've just seen twenty two other tributes do who knows what. So I leave the room where Oliver and I sat together and walk to the training room where the Gamemakers are dining and seem a bit drunk. I go on to announce myself anyway, just like Quinia told me to do. "My name is Karen McGrady, and I am from district twelve." Most of them turn their attention to me, some do not. I walk over to the knife throwing station and start throwing at the targets. I don't hit them directly but I'm only centimeters off. Then I move over to the climbing station and I climb the rock wall until I reach the high ceiling, and come back down. Most of the Gamemakers applaud, some do not. I don't even think a few even know I'm here. "Thank you," I say, and walk out.

"How'd it go?" Finn asks as I walk down the hall. I stop and turn to face him.

"Were you seriously waiting this whole time?" I ask. It takes a long time to get from four to twelve, plus we'll be forced to kill each other soon.

"We want to see how our future ally is doing," Pepper responds, appearing from behind the corner.

I laugh. "Allies? Who said anything about allies?" Sure, it would be great to have those two as allies. Finn has incredible hand-eye coordination and Pepper is pretty good at camouflage and plants. But they shouldn't just assume. No ever said anything about actually needing allies, but I feel like everyone is starting to pick them out now.

"Well, I think you'd be valuable, Pepper thinks you'd be valuable, and you probably think we'd be valuable. See you in the arena Kare Bear," he smirked and the two walked off.

I shake my head but can't help smiling as they walk away. It's weird thinking that two or maybe all three of us will be dead soon. Most or all of us won't go back to our families and our districts. Dismissing the unpleasant thoughts, I go back to the 12th floor of the training center to eat lunch before they release the training scores.

All the tributes are lined up back stage, ready for their interviews. Well, as ready as we'll ever be. Bloom put me in a skin tight black shirt and matching shirt, with my makeup the same as it was on my first day in the Capitol. And with these five inch heels on, I feel like if I move I'll fall over. I watch nervously as tribute after tribute has an interview with Malec Morshale, the host of the Games. He's sort of creepy, and at one point he makes a joke about how big Jewel's boobs are. (At which Pepper remarked "He's a charmer.") I watch Pepper and Finn use their charm and breeze through their interviews, but I'm incredibly nervous. The minute I step on that stage, I'm probably going to fall flat on my face.

It's finally my turn, with just Oliver and me standing back stage. I don't want to go up there and I don't want to leave Oliver alone backstage. But I walk, gripping tight on to the railing as I go, up the stairs and on stage. The crowd erupts into applause but I hate it. I hate being here and being in front of an audience and knowing that in their minds I'm nothing more than an animal, being forced to fight for their entertainment. That right there is enough to bring me to tears, but I take deep breaths as I walk over to Malec Morshale, telling myself to stay calm and go with the sexy approach Bloom and Quinia told me. When I sit down, I stick my chest out a bit, not enough for the audience to notice I'm purposely doing it, but enough to make my breasts look bigger, even though there's all that padding.

"Wow, you are beautiful," Malec says, and for the first time I get a good look at him. Yellow- not blond, actual yellow- hair that curls into an afro, dark skin, and a green jumpsuit. I wonder where these Capitol trends started. I'm not one for looks, but who ever said that was fashionable? Anyway, I don't respond to him. "Let's get right to it then!" He seems to basically be asking the same questions to every tribute, so I kind of know what to expect. But he's also asking questions he knows will aggravate us.

"Being from district twelve, you probably didn't have the best childhood. I know your family was in the poorer part of the district." I don't really know where he's going with this. Is he just telling the audience? Or is he trying to make me think about all the painful memories of almost starving to death? If it's the latter, it's definitely working. "What family do you have back home?" And that's when I realize where this going. He knows. He knows about the bomb and my mother.

"My father and little sister," I tell him simply. I know the next question.

"What about your mother?" He asks with a stupid, sly grin, like he enjoys torturing us, and I think about Jonas and the same grin he had before I was whipped.

"Dead."

"How?"

"Bomb."

"Well you'll probably be with her soon, isn't that right, dear?" It takes all I have left of me not to burst into tears right there on stage.

I swallow and nod my head, "Probably." Because he's right and he knows it and I know it, too. I won't be seeing him again for a post-Games interview. It won't be me who comes out of this. My thoughts drift to my father, watching the interviews on a big screen in the middle of the district. How is taking this? Making me talk about her like this. Because she may have been my mother but she's his wife and I'm his daughter. What's Logan doing? I know both of them have short tempers.

"If your mother looks anything like you, I'd love to be seeing her up here. It's a shame she's dead. I mean... passed on." But he's not sorry. He knows exactly what he's saying and what is going to make me tick and what is going to get the people back in district twelve to react. The Capitol has this all down to a science. I now realize what I'm actually getting into. I see now how badly President Brooke wants to see us suffer and die. This Game is going to be deadlier then I thought. "Well, it looks like we're out of time. Karen McGrady, district twelve!" He stands up and grabs my hand so I stand with him while the crowd cheers.

"Thank you," I say and exit the stage. As soon as I'm out of view of the audience I take off my heels and rub my feet. There's been a feast prepared for the tributes in the other room, so I decide to head there. My head hurts and I'm still upset from that interview. I have always hated the Capitol, but that was just unthinkable.

I can see the tributes dining and the tables have been moved the same way they were on our first day here, maybe changed a little because of training scores. I pulled an eight, while Jewel, Gem, and Pepper received elevens. Finn had a ten and Oliver a six. The lowest was the girl from three, Tink, who looks twelve years old and incredibly weak. She pulled a two. I know I'm supposed to go to the feast, but something makes me keep walking down the hall. I walk until the hall splits in four directions and lean back against the wall. I'm angry and upset and I feel like I'm going to cry but all my emotions are being removed. I stepped in this place and I died. I am already dead. I've been dead for a long time, actually. I have been mentally dead for almost a year now and this is just the last straw. But that's okay because I'll be dead in a few days anyway. Out of frustration, I throw my shoes at the wall across from me and slide down the wall as they clatter to the floor.

"Be careful, you might be punished for that," I hear Finn tell me.

I laugh bitterly. "That was a good one." They can't punish me anymore than they already are. I open my eyes and look over at him. My makeup is probably smeared from my tears and my head is still pounding. He's sitting there, slumped against the wall, watching me.

"That wasn't fair of them." Duh. Finn's interview was a piece of cake. Of course the Capitol favors district four and two and one. They didn't rebel, or at least not like the other districts, so they're being favored in this whole thing. One of them will probably win; they have the advantage of being better fed and having the Capitol like them better.

I don't respond. I tip my head back against the wall and close my eyes again. I feel the tears, hot and heavy, behind my eye lids. "Can you leave?" It comes out as a barely audible whisper. I know he came to comfort me but I don't want to break down in front of him. I don't want him to think I'm weak.

I hear his footsteps down the hall and once they disappear I transform into the girl from district twelve. The girl who's starving, whose mother died, and who's struggling to hold it together for even the shortest amount of time. I'm curled in a ball and sobbing hysterically and struggling to breath. I'm in the damp, dark bedroom on my mattress crying for days on end. People come to try and coax food into me but I won't take it. Three days go by before I finally eat the tiniest bit. But I still spend days sobbing disgustingly, curled in a tight little ball, locking out the rest of the world. Squeezing my eyes shut so tight it physically hurts. The cold tile floor pressed hard against my face and chills go up my spine and I realize that I'm going into the Games tomorrow so I cry even harder.

I can't do this.


	6. Chapter 6: The Games

**Author's Note: Another update (: I haven't even started chapter seven though, so you'll have to wait a bit longer for that. So far this is my longer chapter, and I really like it. I hope you do too (: It's the first day of the Games and there's quite a lot of blood in this chapter, just a heads up, even though I didn't go into detail. Enjoy and please review and thanks for favoriting my story for those of you who did. (I also say the word "and" a lot in this chapter, I don't know why) **

_**Chapter 6**_

_**The Games**_

I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm suffocating in this plastic tube as I stare at Bloom, the last person I'll see who isn't trying to kill me. Any second now we'll be launched up into the arena. I'm wearing a black, skin tight jumpsuit and shoes that are soft fabric with rubber bottoms, and a section for each of my toes. My hair is two braids so it doesn't get tied in a knot and stays out of my way. My heart is beating so fast I feel like I'm going to explode right here in this plastic tube.

It starts to rise and Bloom waves goodbye. The tube rises and I'm standing on a metal circle on a beach, with all the other tributes in a half circle. There's a big Cornucopia with supplies in it. The beach is a perfect circle, half sand and the other half water. Beyond the small beach are thick trees with paths leading into them. There are six on the sand and three back in the water, so it can't be that deep. "Welcome to the very first annual Hunger Games!" Malec Morshale's voice rings out from a speaker somewhere. Three tributes step off their plates and I'm startled when they are blown to bits. They didn't tell us that would happen. I realize it is Tink, the weak girl from three, the male tribute, Cable, and the boy from district two. "Oops," Malec says. "Just a note, tributes, step off your plates before the gong sounds and well... you just saw what happens. Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!" I wonder who thought of this little slogan.

Thirty seconds go by until the gong sounds. I run toward the Cornucopia, but can hear footsteps immediately behind me so I grab a black backpack, the closest thing to me, and take off into the woods. I start to run along the path, which is still surrounded by thick trees, but the path keeps splitting off into different directions and twisting and turning. "Karen!" I turn around immediately at my name, but realize I don't have weapons and this person could try to kill me. It's Finn, but I'm still cautious. He runs up to me, out of breath and carrying a blue drawstring bag. "Keep running, stick with me." So we run and run for probably two hours and we're probably almost to the edge of the arena when we stop. I need water, but I know I won't be getting any. "It's probably safe to rest here," Finn decides, but I'm not sure if I agree. I look at the tree in front of us and decide we'd be safer in the air.

"Can you climb?" I ask. If we could climb to the top of that tree, we could probably see most of the arena, too.

"Pretty well," he tells me, and I know he's thinking about the tree now, too.

The climb up isn't that difficult but it's tiring, and we have to be at least thirty feet up when the branches get to be too thin and we can't climb anymore.

We both get a good look at the area. "It's a maze," I observe. The paths wind and twist in a maze like way and the beach is in the center. I see two bodies lying near the shore, blood streaming into to the water. The crystal clear water now has a red tint to it, and I can tell more people have been injured.

We open up our bags and shuffle through them. Mine contains a sleeping bag, although I don't know why I would need it in this scorching hot weather, a plastic box containing bandages and some bottles of liquid medicines and creams, a black box containing crackers, dried fruit, and a small (but empty) water container. Finn's bag contains swimming goggles, flippers, and a knife. "There must be fish on the beach," he concludes.

I agree. "Is that water salt water?" I ask him. It would have been smart to find out before I ran off.

"Not sure," he replies. "But it looks like it's the only source of water here, so it probably isn't." This means to get water, we'll have to run for another couple of hours.

I'm too tired to go back, but I might be able to make it if I really had to. We need water to live, of course. "Should we go back?" I ask.

"Nah, Pepper stayed behind to get some once everything cleared. She'll try and find us." Of course they had all of this planned out. I wouldn't be surprised if Pepper killed one of the people on the beach.

A beautiful sunset appears, and I've never seen anything like it. The reds and oranges and pinks are so beautiful, it looks fake. Then I realize it probably is. "Finn!" a voice calls out. It's a soft whisper, but we can still hear it. "Karen!" I look down the tree. Pepper is standing there. Or at least, I'm assuming it is Pepper.

We work our way down the tree and are greeted by, yes, Pepper. She has a container filled with water and a gash in her leg. "What happened?" I ask.

"Boys from six and ten attacked me. Six threw a knife at me." That would explain why it took her longer than us to get here.

"Did you kill them?" I ask.

"No, but I injured them pretty badly. They'll probably bleed out soon." Just then, a canon fires, and I know that signals a death. It's probably the boy from ten, who was considerably smaller.

It starts to get dark so we decide to set up a place to sleep. Pepper cleans up her leg with the medicine from my back, before we walk off the path and a bit into the woods, where the trees aren't as thick and we can still see the path. I unzip the sleeping bag and lay it down to make us all more comfortable, but my forehead and neck and sweaty so I know I'll have a hard time sleeping. Three more canons go off. I'm guessing the other boy bleed to death and there was a fight.

The Capitol anthem plays and the names and pictures of the deaths today flash across the sky: the boy from two, Cable, Tink, the boys from five and six, Gregory from eight, and the boy from ten. That means seven dead on the first day. There's only five of us left.

I decide to go for a walk, and Pepper comes with me. We walk on the path for a while actually, until we hear an earsplitting screach and stop. Night fell quickly and it's almost completely dark out. Gas rises out from the bases of the trees and surrounds the area. Pepper and I begin to run in the opposite direction of our camp, and I hope Finn makes it out. We slam into something, but nothing is there. Either we can't see it because the gas is so thick or it's invisible. But the gas clears and I don't feel any different. "Let's go back," Pepper says. Her voice is barely a whisper. I agree and stand up to walk, but Pepper sprints off and I don't have the energy to keep up with her.

I catch a glimpse of another person. She's tall and has long, bright red hair and green eyes, but I can't match her face to any of the other tributes. I can't see the woman anymore, and Pepper is out of sight, so I continue walking. But the woman appears again, and this time she's right in front of me. But it can't be who I think it is. It can't be her, that's impossible. "Hi Karen," she says. Her voice is soft and sweet, just like it was when she used to sing me to sleep at night. I start to walk backwards, slowly. "Karen, it's me, your mother. I missed you so much, but I'm here now," she smiles, but it's not her smile. This is an evil, twisted smile, and as much as I want to say the Capitol recreated this, I can't. It's too real. But she's dead, it's impossible for her to be here. I hit the invisible wall again and decide the best way to getting out of here is to run straight to the side. I start to sprint but my mother is there, her arm out to stop me. "Don't try to run, sweetie. I finally have you back, don't run from me." I slump back against the wall and slide down, just staring at my mother. She walks forward, arms outstretched to give me a hug.

"Get away from me," I warn. But I'm weak and my voice isn't as threatening as I'd like it to be.

My mother stops and her smile turns into a frown. Her eyes fill with tears.

"Why? I love you, Karen. You're my daughter." I know this isn't it real, it can't be. But I can't help starting to cry.

"No." It's barely a whisper. No, she can't be here. No, that isn't even her. But part of me wants to believe it's her. That the Capitol captured her and now she's back here with me. But they wouldn't do that. That's impossible, anyway. We found the body. "Leave."

Her eyes turn black. She reaches behind her and pulls out a knife. This is what she was programmed to do. She's here to kill me. I scream. Maybe Finn or Pepper can come to my rescue, or another tribute nearby can come kill me first. My mother can't kill me. She approaches me, holding the knife out. "Somebody's been a bad little girl." She throws the knife and it plunges in my chest with a sharp, shooting pain and I scream again. But something isn't right. There's no blood. I'm not bleeding and a knife just went through my chest. I felt it. I don't even know where the knife went. But I can't hold back the scream that's been stuck in my throat.

"Shhh... shhh... it's okay, baby girl." Her voice is soft as she walks toward me. I try to crawl backwards, but I'm trapped against this wall. "My little

Karen, it's been so long, over a year now. I wish I could have taken you with me, I really do. Both of us gone, together. It would have saved you so much pain." The tears are streaming down my cheeks and my face is sticky and I can't think. But I go back to the girl from district twelve, the girl in the training center after her interview.

Curl your knees up to your chest and rest your chin on them. Squeeze your eyes shut so, so tight. Rock back and forth a bit. Break down. I see her hand on my leg but I can't feel anything either because I am numb or she isn't really there. "It's okay, baby girl. Get some rest. I'll stay here with you all night and save you from the monsters."

Save me from the monsters? Which monster, the monsters in my head or the monsters that sent me here? She would have to kill me or everyone in the Capitol. She can't do either, but I am open to both.

My mother sits a few feet from me and watches me. I try to sleep but I can feel her eyes burning into my skin. I'm not as panicky anymore but I still haven't quite caught my breath and I keep hiccupping. I turn so I'm facing the invisible wall. There is a thick, gray gas covering the area on the other side of the invisible wall. My eyelids are heavy and I know I shouldn't be sleeping out here in the open, but I do anyway.

When I wake up the sunlight is hot on my skin and all traces of my mother are gone. My skin is tight and salty and my eyes are heavy and I'm dehydrated on top of feeling terrible from crying all night, and sad from seeing my mother, and terrified because, to put it lightly, that was really scary. I push myself up and notice that the wall is gone. What seemed to have happened was once the sun went down and it was dark, the monsters came and we were trapped, and now the sun is up and we're free to face another type of monster.

"Kare... en," Finn says as he runs up to me, out of breath. He has all of our things, my pack included. He throws all of the stuff to the ground and collapses.

I dig around until I find Pepper's water container and take a generous gulp, then pluck a piece of dried fruit to suck on. "You okay?" I ask. He must've done an awful lot of running to be that out of breath.

"Can't... find... Pepper." He takes the container from me and drinks some. "She ran past last night but kept running," he adds once he's caught his breath.

"She couldn't have gone far," I decide. "We should probably keep moving." Finn agrees, so we pack our stuff up neatly and walk in the direction where I saw the gas last night.

It's extremely hot, and the jumpsuit doesn't offer much protection from the sun. We keep walking and try to eat and drink as little as possible so we can save stuff for later. The arena is strangely quiet and I figure it must be pretty big if we haven't run in to anyone else yet. "Maybe we should go back in case Pepper is there," Finn suggests, but that's when we hear the scream. A scream so loud it makes me feel like my ear drums are going to burst and sends a shiver up my spine. Finn grabs the knife from our pack, the one the boy from six attacked Pepper with. The scream seemed to come from outside the path and deeper into the woods. We make our way off the trail.

There's a clearing, a circle with a ten yard diameter. And two, well actually three, people. I immediately throw up from seeing a dismembered body and all the blood. Pepper is tied up to a tree and Gem, from one, is doing something to her, but I don't know what it is. Finn drops the knife and runs to punch Gem, who turned to face us, in the face. Pepper screams again and I can't tell what happened to her, other than the fact that she is soaked in blood. Gem and Finn are on the ground attacking each other and I don't know who's winning but they're grunting and groaning and Pepper is screaming and I just want to make it stop. Finn pushes Gem off of him and Gem is now lying on the ground and there is a big scratch across his face and he has a black eye, though that might not be from Finn, and Finn has a bump on his head. So I pick up the knife and without even thinking I plunge it into Gem's chest and he makes an awful, inhuman noise and my hand goes limp and the smell of blood gets even stronger and I throw up again and I feel someone behind me but I don't react because I just killed someone, and then the world starts to go black and my eyes close and the screaming stops and it is finally silent.


End file.
